Cover to Cover: Experience the infinite wisdom of HAM

Hey look! It's more weekly comics (with my "reviews" of them)! King-Size Spider-Man Summer Special (Why does it say #1? Will there be a #2?) by lots of people The Spidey saturation continues! With not only a weekly comic, a few "Extras" out there and even his own magazine, Spidey finally gets a Summer Special. It seemed like this comic was geared to me, because it actually had MJ on the cover, so I flipped through it a little. Then I noticed that Colleen Coover was in on this, so then I just grabbed it. Because she's awesome. There are four stories here for five bucks. The first is by the husband-wife team of Paul Tobin and Colleen Coover, and it's about the girls of Marvel beating down the Enchantress, a member of Thor's rogues gallery. The jokes are strong, and I love how MJ is friends with Millie the Model and Patsy Walker. The second story is a hilarious two-pager by the same team, in which Spidey and M.O.D.O.K. go shopping for new rocket chairs at "U-KEA."
MODOK IS NOT A TABLE!
The third story is really, really bland. It's just a standard Spidey team-up with the Falcon. The fourth story is a reprint of Chris Giarrusso's "Paperboy Blues," in which Spidey competes with Venom for the right to deliver the Daily Bugle to the Osborn house. Funny, but disappointing as well, because I'd already read most of the story off his website. All in all, I wouldn't recommend this issue to anyone, because the last stories are letdowns for a whole five bucks, but this is definitely worth your time. You should trick a random person to get it, and then read it from him/her. 

  House of Mystery #4 by Matt Sturges and Luca Rossi
There is basically no plot at all to this comic book, and you know what? I'm not sure if it even needs one. Sure, you have Fig Keele being confused and frustrated about being trapped in "the house that she designed," but that's not what the comic's really about. It's about the craziness of the House, and how twisted it can get.
omniscient ham
And I love it. The House is filled with eccentrics, and the back-up story here is a testament to that. Although I thought Willingham would be doing the back-ups, he didn't do it last ish, nor for this ish, so it seems Matt Sturges is going solo now. His back-up here is about a witch princess who has to try to get true love's kiss to return to her homeworld. The twist is, she has a guardian tiger named Floyd (how awesome is that?) who eats all the guys who aren't her true love. Eventually the two realize that there's no point to going back home anyways, So Floyd just eats random guys in San Francisco, and the witch princess names herself "Daphne" and enjoys life!
plop!
This story combined fantasy with horror this time, and the art style reflected that really well. Back at the House, we learn the mysteries of what lurks in its basement: a bunch of random regenerating breakable objects, like rusty suits of armor, vases or glass windows. Oh, and a bunch of sledgehammers. Since all the occupants (prisoners?) can't get back at whoever got them stuck at the house, they put those sledgehammers to good use and channel some of their frustration to those poor rusty suits of armor. You can imagine how Fig felt about this:
Hammer time
I love the expressions that artist Luca Rossi does! The body language of the characters are really strong too. It's like I could understand the story by just looking at the art! If you couldn't tell, I really like House of Mystery, but it's definitely an acquired taste. For example, you have to be able to appreciate lines from a waitress such as, "Okay, who had the screwdriver and who had the fuzzy constantinople?" or a big nasty goblin sighing and saying, "I wish I felt pretty." Or "You can learn a lot from a good piece of ham."

Cover to Cover: catching up

We're getting back on track with weekly comics, and it's about time!

I know the blog's been slowing down, but there's a reason for it, I swear!

Catwoman #81

by Will Pfeifer and David Lopez

This came out last week, so it's my fault for being lazy but I just wanted to delay Catwoman's approaching cancellation just that much. It hurts me right here to see the title go away, man.

Okay, enough lying, let's just get to the stealing and the backstabbing, because that's what Catwoman does in this issue, and it's wonderful.

On a mission for the Calculator, she goes to a super-villain-themed party to steal some valuable Nazi artifacts. Awesome! Since Pfeifer already covered Communists some issues back (with villains Hammer and Sickle!), now he's got everything!

Not much to say about this comic besides repetition. Gorgeous cover by Adam Hughes as always; Catwoman even wears a fedora in this issue!


Man, that fedora just made my day.


Detective Comics #847

by Paul Dini and Dustin Nguyen

This issue is part two of "Heart of Hush" and is mostly set-up and flashback.

Thomas Elliot AKA "Hush" has a fit of anger about his mother's repressiveness, and goes to a psychologist called Dr. Crane. Hmm, where have I heard that name before?

The Wonderland Gang also shows up -- remember them? They had a gal whose gimmick was carpentry; that's how awesome they are, and Batman asks Tim and Dick to help take them down. There, he warns them that Hush might try to get at them to get at him.

This issue was all over the place; Catwoman goes to see Zatanna as well, and beats her several times at three-card monte!

Hush's plans also continue when they show that Scarecrow is now working for Hush to traumatize little children. WHY???

Cue cliffhanger, and that's the issue. A bit jumpy at points, but it wasn't confusing at all, and it was a fun read-through. Dustin Nguyen delivers a gorgeous Catwoman too.

I sure am gonna miss her.

Who is man enough to stop the terrifying Lava Men?!?

With me skipping last week's comics, I thought it was time for some catch-up. Since the last issue of my marvel subscription to X-Men: First Class came in, that sounded appropriate enough.

X-Men: First Class #14
by Jeff Parker and Roger Cruz

This is the end of the two-part Machine Man arc, in which Machine Man is a temporary X-Man. With the original cast of Marvel Girl, Cyclops, Iceman and Beast (Angel is off in an island), he investigates the strange Lava Men, who -guess what?- attack the X-Men! Machine Man takes 'em down, though and they try to get to the source of the lava men.

machine man

The crux of the issue is at this point, because Machine Man has to confront his android face. This is a problem, since he's a robot designed to have human feelings, so he gets all "existential angst" on the Lava Men. Cue thoughtful ending reflecting on the nature of humanity.

I AM A MAN!!!

I usually love First Class, but I've been feeling more "meh" about it. Nate Cosby usually does hilarious recap pages, but the one for this issue was just "meh." Jean hasn't really gotten a focus either, and I was reading First Class largely because it's the one where Jean is still alive.

Anyways, Colleen Coover does back-ups for First Class, and her artwork is always a treat. This time, it's a dialogue-less, four-page sequence featuring the X-Men reminiscing about Angel and missing him.

colleen coover

It's adorable.

Nicola Scott: Renaissance woman???

The other day I was watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. A really good movie; it even has Sean Connery in it, sho you can bet it wash aweshome.

When it's Indiana Jones, I never fast-forward through the credits, because the music is so wonderful to listen to, and I saw something strange. . .

nicola scott

If you look around the middle row there, you'll see the name "Nicola Scott," or "That lady who just did a long run on Birds of Prey but then left for a Secret Six ongoing."

Could it be? Is it really this Nicola Scott?

nicola scott

So, not only is she an artist and a mom, now she's an actor?!?!

Mrs. Scott, you know we all miss you at Birds, but keep doing what you're doing, and good luck.

(Say hi to Harrison Ford for me if you get the chance???)

a friendly neighborhood goddamn public service announcement

With all the publicity that the blog is making,* I felt that it was my duty to do what you've all been waiting for. I felt that it was time to make a public service announcement.

As an American - nay, a human being, here are not one, but two reasons that you crazy kids should never turn to a life of crime.

*publicity may be imaginary

ONE: The Goddamn Batman will punch you in the face, and. . .






TWO: Frank Miller will write hilarious grunts of pain for you.

Scans from various issues of Frank Miller and Jim Lee's All-Star Batman and Robin. Most are from issue 7, though.

Blagg!
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