New Krypton finale: Does anyone remember Secret Invasion?

No, of course, you don't. That's because it wasn't a real story. Sure, things happened, and people came back from the dead, but that didn't make a story. The only issue in the 7-issue mini that actually mattered, that actually meant something, was the last issue, because the real story is Dark Reign. Secret Invasion was just a hyped-up, useless reason to bring it about.

It seems like, these days, before you can really tell a story, you have to make a big deal about setting it up. World War Hulk was five issues of Hulk beating the snot out of people, which then led to the stories in Incredible Herc and Skaar. Ultimate Power was nine issues of people beating the snot out of each other, and only the last issue was important in setting up the exchange between two people across continuities.

This is just really depressing. It's a waste of comic books, a waste of money, and this is exactly what New Krypton is.

New Krypton pt. 10: Action Comics #873
by Geoff Johns and Pete Woods

I don't get it. In the Annihilation event, you had people managing to tell a story in just four issues. A ragtag team of misfits would band together, to stop the impossible menace of Annihilus. And you'd end up caring about all these characters you didn't even know before.

Why couldn't New Krypton tell a story in 10 issues? Why couldn't it be an actual story? Just because you have people fighting, and saying meaningless words, doesn't make it a story. In these ten issues, Lex Luthor has done precisely one thing, and that was off-panel. Superman has done nothing but play diplomat, and fail. New Krypton isn't a real story. The real story is with all the new characters that it introduced. I didn't pay for a story. I paid for a ploy, and that pisses me off.

One cool thing happens though: the New Kryptonians uproot Kandor from the Arctic, and create their own planet. It's in orbit directly across from the Sun, so Earth can never see it.

That is pretty awesome, and the true meat of comic books, but aside from that, New Krypton was a severe disappointment, and I am severely disappointed. I really hoped on, you know, reading this and liking it, but it just . . . takes the reader for a dullard. This was a failure. Don't pick up any issue of it. Don't even look at it.

Ugh. I am seriously reconsidering just dropping a ton of comics right now. Ugh.

For reference, I was actually optimistic about the series in the beginning.
REFERENCE:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 4/5
Part 6/7
Part 8/9
Part 10

The lesson here?

Hal Jordan. . .

and Lex Luthor. . .

. . . are total pimps.

New Krypton pts. 8/9: Supergirl #36 and Superman #683

I was kind of hoping that I'd get some extra hits from "New Krypton," but apparently, nobody's searching for it. It may be because it's not much of a story, or maybe it's just yesterday's news already. How time goes by.

Part 1!
Part 2!
Part 4/5!
Part 6/7!
Part 8/9!
Part 10!

New Krypton pt. 8: Supergirl #36
by Sterling Gates and Jamal Igle

This is the aftermath of Zor's death, the leader of the New Kryptonians and Supergirl's father.

That's pretty much it. There's a lot of talking, but it doesn't really go anywhere. The words don't mean anything; it's just filler. Superman's spent probably the entirety of four issues failing at being a diplomat, and Supergirl's mother, Alura is set up to take revenge for her husband, against the humans.

There's a social statement they try to make here, about how you can't judge the many from the few, and the few from the many, but they don't capitalize on that at all.

That said, you do not want to mess with Supergirl in this issue.

She will bust you up.

New Krypton pt. 9: Superman #683
by James Robinson and Renato Guedes

More inflammatory gestures, and more hostility. Basically, the only reason the Justice League et al. have an all-on brawl with the New Kryptonians, is because they don't like each other.

How idiotic is that? This comic book single is an excuse for people to start fighting with each other, when there was never any reason at all. There is no actual motivation, beyond people being hostile towards each other.

At least the Guardian looks spectacularly goofy, surfing on his sheild in a parka in the arctic.

Nothing is resolved. All the new characters that were introduced don't have a single say in any part. The only reason they made all this hubbub, was to introduce new characters for some other storyline, not New Krypton. If you ask me, New Krypton has already failed as a story, but will the final part, part 10, redeem it?

Stay tuned!

friendly neighborhood stats a-go-go

I know this week had a Wednesday and everything, and I know how when the nation is in economic duress, people tend to read more fiction to escape from reality, but --

--that's easy to say when you're not broke. This is why we do stats today. It's come to my realization that statcounter.com refreshes the keywords that link to the blog -- It doesn't archive all of them, so I can't know what keywords led people to the blog way back in October.

This means all my keywords are fleeting! Since I have a crummy memory, let's look at the newer ones before they get axed:

lady blackhawk new artwork
queen killer shark
zinda blake
I love to see Zinda getting searched for! If I had a minimate of her (which I shall someday), she'd totally give a thumbs-up somehow.

roast and pie avengers
wolverine spiderman roast pie
I don't know who looked these up, but whoever you are, I love you.

Gonzo the mechanical bastard
I get one of these searches every month or so. He's incredibly obscure, but there's an insane amount of potential in the guy. No one really pays him any attention though.

is nova's worldmind dead
is novas worldmind dead
These are pretty specific keyphrases, and I really like them too, because the blog actually addresses 'em at one point.

"Spidey grows old and dies off"
Mind you, there are actual quotes in the keyphrase, because that's how the person searched. When you're Googling something, you can put quotes around it so that Google will search for that specific phrase, like, for example, "Queen Killer Shark, Pirate Pearl of the Pacific" and whatnot.
I'm glad the person got to the blog, but kinda sad that s/he used this keyphrase.

24 times that someone has searched for a variation of Detective Comics 850, with other stuff like "Selina" or "Bruce" or "review" added in there.
There were ten variations, and one variation was searched for for up to 8 times! Detective 850 sure was popular.

never wash behind ears
benefits of washing behind your ears
Kinda random.

I just wanna wrap this up by saying how awesome you guys are. Your keywords bring a smile to my face, and thank you so much for that!

New Krypton pts. 6/7: Superman #682 and Action Comics #872

Chuggin' along the New Krypton train. All aboard!

Part 1!
Part 2!
Part 4/5!
Part 6/7!
Part 8/9!
Part 10!

New Krypton Pt. 6: Superman #682
by James Robinson and Renato Guedes

So, apparently, Robinson is in charge of taking care of the characters I don't care about. If you'll remember, the New Kryptonians are broken into two factions: Zod loyalists, and. . . uh. . . non-Zod loyalists? Regardless, the Zod loyalists, under the consent of the New Kryptonian govt., grabs all of Superman's foes, and places them in the Phantom Zone. Along the way, they end up brutally murdering some Metropolis Science Police Officers.

You get a few million cameos of people I don't care about, and then you get some scenes with the U.S. govt. characters I don't care about: "Agent Liberty," the "Guardian," and the head of the Science Police, Ms. Control. Nice name, and great concept ("Science Police" is so Golden age), but the execution is kinda boring. It's hard to care about these people I don't know, when, uh, I don't know them.

That said, the cliffhanger is this: the villains in the Phantom Zone end up besieging some guy I don't know -- "Mon-El," who's apparently Superman's older brother?

That's funny Mon. I was wondering the same thing about EVERYONE IN THIS COMIC BOOK.

Aside from the brutal murder of the Science Police (which is PRETTY BIG), this part is mostly set-up for New Krypton. I find it frustrating how all these side characters are taking up pages. You shouldn't have to have read a few dozen comics to enjoy the cameos that everyone plays.


New Krypton Pt. 7: Action Comics #872
by Geoff Johns and Pete Woods

Superman confronts Zor (the leader of the New Kryptonians -- and Supergirl's father!) about the murdered policemen. Then the city of Kandor is invaded by Brainiac sentries, while the "Agent of Liberty" gathers magic-type superheroes, to deal with the New Kryptonians.

More People I Don't Know But Am Supposed To, are the "Creature Commandos," who are a monster-themed squad from WWII. Frankenstein, Dracula, Medusa, you name it. There are 7 of them, and this is a nice concept and all, but. . . it doesn't go anywhere. Why introduce all these characters, when the story isn't about them? I wanna see some internal conflict -- like Superman having to deal with his identity, as Earthling or Kryptonian.

Lastly, Supergirl's dad gets killed.

That's gotta hurt.

All the cliffhangers seem to have nothing whatsoever to do with each other. Part 4 ended with the new "Nightwing/Flamebird" duo. We've seen them in one panel since. Part 5 ended with the new "Superwoman." We haven't seen her at all yet. Part 6 ends with Mon-El getting besieged in the Phantom Zone. Part 7. . . okay, that one's organic. Part 8 actually follows up on part 7.


PROGRESS REPORT? So far, the story has consisted of introducing new characters and killing people off. Where's the characterization? Where's the emotional conflict? Where's the beef?

Oh great. Now I'm hungry.

Yer knee actin' up again?

Have no fear!

Batsurgeon is here! wakka wakka wakka.

Boy that wascally Batman! What will he dress up as next? A nurse? Find out in Catwoman: When in Rome, brought to you by the wonderful team of Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale.

New Krypton Pts 4/5: Action Comics #871 and Supergirl #35

I always make a big deal about decompression, because hey -- these things cost 3 bucks a piece. I could get 3 Clark Bars for that, and I'd still have enough to beat everyone at the claw machine in the arcade.

So hopefully, you understand my apprehension with "New Krypton," the crossover event between the three Super-books. Geoff Johns knows how to tell a story, that's for sure, but he notoriously writes for the trade. A story he tells in five issues could most likely have been done in 3. When you pay for five comic books, but you really only get three, that kind of crap really grinds my gears.

I purchased parts 1 and 2 of the crossover (here and here!), but when part 3 was an "interlude issue" designed to flesh out some guy I don't care about, I basically gave it up. A few months later -and a local sale- I picked up the rest of the parts, still ignoring part 3.

(EDIT:
Part 1!
Part 2!
Part 4/5!
Part 6/7!
Part 8/9!
Part 10!)

Herein we talk about 'em! The approach here is to enjoy the crossover -- while at the same time ensuring each issue has weight in and of itself, and isn't designed just to take up space for the trade.

New Krypton Pt. 4 (Action Comics #871)
by Geoff Johns and Pete Woods

Johns handles this part, and boy is it a doozy. Remember General Zod? In the movie with Chris Reeves, he was one of the guys trapped in that big glass doo-hickey -- the Phantom Zone. In the comics, he's also imprisoned, and General Zod's underlings sow the seeds for his return. Their feelings about Earth are characterized masterfully, as is the business relationship between General Lane (Lois Lane's father) and Lex Luthor.

Johns is also notorious for his liberal use of retroactive continuity, and he revises the heck out of Super-continuity here. The reason "Bottle City of Kandor" has been used in so many stories, but the real Kandor is here, is because Kandor was such a great city, advanced in science and politics, that every other city took its name!

And remember Doomsday? You know, the thing that randomly fell from space and "killed" Superman? Well, it turns out he was a primordial science experiment from Ancient Krypton! Neanderthal Kryptonians released a child into the wild, cloning what remained, until something evolved enough to survive! That is the insane kind of crap any comic book should have.

The plot moves along well enough -- the Kryptonians chillingly beat Doomsday to a pulp (ON THE MOON!!!!), as Zod's cronies and Lane/Luthor scheme.

A good set-up issue, with adequate action.

New Krypton pt. 5 (Supergirl #35)
by Sterling Gates and Jamal Igle

Oh man, this issue does a little rewriting of Supergirl's history too.

That is to say, it basically overhauls her past. Basically, all those memories of Kara needing to kill her cousin Kal-El, was because she was exposed to K-radiation for 30 years.

Her father, Zor-El treats her and purges the remnants from her body. Kara remembers her real life now.

Aside from that, not much happens. There's some set-up for tension, as Supergirl must choose whether she is Kryptonian or Earthling. We see the mysterious "Superwoman" here, who's getting a five-issue arc right now.

So, like so many other issues of Supergirl, this is a telling of her origin. Hopefully, this is the one that sticks!

A mediocre part of the New Krypton crossover.

friendly neighborhood housekeeping

We are totally getting our housekeeping on today. CAN YOU DIG IT?

Mainly, we're gonna dust off my old, old list of comic books that I read, which you can find near the bottom of the sidebar. I'll talk about some comics that I've left hanging, miniseries that I forgot about, etc. Basically, if you were ever wondering, "Hey, whatever happened with TITLE X that you talked about one day? And then never brought up again? I want my money back!" then this post is for you!

Marvel Adventures: Avengers
Dropped. Jeff Parker left the series.

Paul Tobin took over, and while Tobin comes up with really wacky concepts, he just plum executes them very poorly.

Guardians of the Galaxy

done with this. Introduced way too many characters when it didn't flesh out the original ones.

Nova
The direction they're taking is a little. . . funky. I'm thinking about replacing this with Green Lantern.

Thunderbolts

recently picked this up. Bought Warren Ellis's run on it, in trade, and enjoyed it. This book reflects the undercurrent that permeates Marvel right now: our heroes have failed, so we must turn to other figures to protect the world (NORMAN OSBORN).

In a similar vein, I'm also kind of keeping up with Dark Reign. The price tag is ridiculous though (3.99 for 22 pages???), so I may just wait for the trade, if I end up liking it enough.

Birds of Prey

Over and done with. I think I'll pick up the three-issue mini, Oracle: The Cure.

Ambush Bug: Year None

Got the first four issues. Stopped caring about it after that to get the last two.

Action Comics

Wait, so Superman isn't going to be here? And Geoff Johns isn't writing? Dropped.

Supergirl

Not sure if I should drop it. Apathy is keeping me from getting it.
Well, that and being broke.

Bad Dog

Got the first issue. Liked it. Considering this is an indy comic though, it'll take forever for the second issue to come out.

Bloodrayne

Got the last issue of the most recent miniseries. Pretty sure I neglected to review it. I have no idea when the next issue's coming out.

Amazing Spider-Man

Picked up the first part of "Character Assassination." Couldn't bring self to care about it.

House of Mystery
Plot isn't going anywhere. Don't care enough to keep reading. Wasted enough money on this already.

Detective Comics
Wait, so Paul Dini's leaving the title? And Greg Rucka will be replacing Batman with Batwoman?

Hm, I'm actually kind of interested.

Ah, put a sock in it!

I watched the last episode of Spider-Man: The New Animated Series (see post before last), and I gotta tell ya, boy is it one Debbie Downer! Spider-Man is manipulated into harming the woman with whom he's in a relationship (it's not MJ), so Peter has to deal with the fact that Spider-Man's put her in a coma. Subsequently, he stashes his costume in a suitcase, and throws it into the River. Spider-Man No More!

Speaking of last things, let's talk about the final issue for

Birds of Prey #127
by Tony Bedard and Claude St. Aubin
It's really, really. . . mediocre.

With 18 pages of story, the Silicon Syndicate gets taken down, while the All-New, All-Dangerous Calculator escapes. Then Barbara dismantles the birds, leaving Misfit in Huntress's care. Presumably, Barbara needs to leave to "find herself" and whatnot.

The "Origins and Omens" six-page back-up is vague, confusing foreshadowing, and I think it's a waste of space.

Two things:
1) Leaving Misfit, the spunky teenager, with Huntress, the angry teacher who cares a lot about her kids? Totally awesome move. I agree 100%.

2) The action here? A nice final hurrah for our birds. Zinda is awesome; Misfit is awesome; they all get their moments.

I just wish it didn't have to be such an agonizing story to tell. Bedard had the title for, what, 10 issues (118-127)? Simone could've told a thoroughly complex, but true-to-the-characters, story in six.

All in all, Bedard did a shoddy job on Birds, but still, I think I will check out Oracle's three-issue mini, The Cure. It's written by Kevin Vanhook, whom I know nothing about, but hey, we share the same first names, so how bad can it be?

I don't get it.

The Howard the Duck Omni is 808 pages. It retails for $99.00.

Absolute Death (from these solicits) is 360 pages. It retails for $99.00.

HuhbuhWHY?

MTV's Spider-Man: The New Animated Series in review

So, every morning, for the past 4 weeks or so, I've been watching the Spider-Man: The New Animated Series, episode by episode. It originally aired on MTV in 2003, and it lasted 13 episodes. Hulu is hosting all 13 for free.

PRODUCTION: It was darn interesting! The producers wanted to appeal to teenagers more, so adults are practically sparse here. And even then, Aunt May appears only once -- in a picture! Doc Connors is portrayed as a soulless scientist, who cares only about his work, and his family is never even mentioned. It's as if he doesn't have one.

Harry's dad died before the show ever began, which is why Harry is in control of Oscorp. Adults are barely relevant to this show aimed at teens. It's fascinating to see all these changes to fit the show's approach.

CHARACTERS: Peter's portrayed in college (Empire State U.), with his main circle of friends, MJ and Harry. Gwen is nowhere to be seen, and Flash Thompson is in one episode. Peter is voiced by Neil Patrick Harris (a spot-on decision), MJ by Lisa Loeb, and Stan Lee makes a voice cameo in the penultimate episode, although it's done poorly.

I may be wrong, but this may have been the first Spidey to be animated in cel-shades (it helps to make a comic-book-y feel. It's also the same way that Ultimate Spider-Man: The Video Game, was animated).

Interestingly enough, Brian Bendis had a hand in producing this series for television! (He also helped script up the plot for Ultimate Spider-Man: The video game.)

VILLAINS: It was certainly a different Spidey for a different time! The villains here are rarely after just petty cash. It's sometimes to assassinate an important somebody, or to further some social agenda (One person violently crusades against crime to support property that's about to be bull-dozed by Oscorp, while the terrorist group "Pterodax" is trying to restore the Soviet Republic.). Max Dillon is also reimagined into an insecure college kid who tragically turns into the monster Electro.

Along with Lizard and Kraven, that only makes three classic villains to appear, because Goblin (Green, Hob, you name it) doesn't appear at all!

DESIGNS: The designs are totally awesome. Overall, the people don't look too appealing in cel shades, but the design for Spider-Man is just awe-inspiring! His eyes are the emotive kind, which aren't realistic at all, but really cool. The way he crawls on walls and swings across the city is just perfect, and the directing gives it the weight that they truly deserve.

There's also a lot of interplay with shadows here. I'd never take Spidey up as a noir kinda guy, but hey, it's cel shading, and it works.

This is not any part of my personal canon, but it certainly serves as a nice micro-continuity. The design for Spidey is just amazing.

Once I'm done with the series (I watch the last episode tomorrow!), I'm planning on watching Batman: The Brave and the Bold on Toonami's Jetstream.

Happy Valentine's Day, Creepy Lady!

Just one comic this week. Blame me being lazy the economy.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #17

by Andrew Kreisberg and Mike Norton

Now that DC's done with the line-wide "Faces of Evil" specials, they're doing "Origins and Omens" specials. For this here comic book,we get 18 pages of story, with six pages for a little "Origins and Omens" back-up. In the back-up we get a funny-looking blue guy (Guardian of the Universe) speaking cryptically, a teenage Dinah Lance accidentally killing a boy she has a crush on, with her sonic scream, and then a little montage of confusing pictures that I think are supposed to foreshadow future events.

(Isn't Mia's costume red?)

Make of those what you will. Personally, I think those pages would be better spent on the main story, because it's kind of slow. The plot moves along sure enough, but there are just so many three-page panels, and dialogue-less pages. Kreisberg may be returning serious themes back to Green Arrow (re-Grell-ifying it!), but he sure is taking his time.

I mean, it's very fitting that she's talking about Valentine's Day, but, when Green Arrow's lady stalker actually does something, a month from now, Valentine's Day will already be over! Geez louise!

No real complaints though, except for this:

How does a mask fit on her face like that? It looks ridiculous.

Green Lantern: Rebirth (trade review)

Partly because Green Lantern is in the "Rage of the Red Lanterns," and partly because it's in the library, and partly because I'm trying to read more Green Lantern, we are reviewing today

Green Lantern: Rebirth

by Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver

What it's about: Johns revises the Green Lantern mythos in this 2004 six-issue miniseries. He explains all kinds of things, from Hal's jacket, to Hal's gray hair, to what Parallax really was, and how Hal was merely infected by the Parallax entity. Along the way, he returns the GL corps. to glory.

What I liked: The crazy scenes in space, where you meet all kinds of beings and worlds! I love the fantasy aspect of it.

What I didn't like: Batman comes off as a caricature of himself (an "entity of fear and distrust"), but it fit Johns's vision well enough. People refer to "hope" and "fear" way too much, so some of the dialogue comes off as ridiculous.

Also, who the heck thought it'd be a good idea to come up with the Spectre? I love that, as an agent of God, he punishes his victims ironically, but c'mon, what kind of Western God could possibly think of the Spectre's sadism as justice? You don't get judged when you're still alive. You get judged when you're dead. That's one of the major tenets of Christianity.
That is why the Spectre pisses me off.

DC is kind of obsessed with keeping its former heroes. I mean, Barry Allen just came back from the dead, and Oliver Queen came back from the dead when Kevin Smith was working on it. It's just, if you're gonna have legacy characters, then why keep going back? Why the regression? We see that Johns cares about the other Lanterns as well, but there's this need to make Hal the "greatest of them all." Meh.

Oliver's resurrection in Quiver was incredibly done. It's one of my favorite Green Arrow stories, but this resurrection story didn't really resonate with me.
Sure, it sold out and everything, but hopefully, I'll like Green Lantern more as I keep going.

Extras?: Intro by Brad Meltzer, which is about how Johns is basically a fan writing for the fans. There's a cover gallery of all the variant covers that released with the miniseries, and then we see Johns's proposal for the miniseries.

Final thoughts: Well, don't let my negative thinking get in your way. I'd probably be better off, if I'd read more of Green Lantern, and I certainly hope to. I sometimes loiter in Borders to read the comics, and lemme tell you, I am certainly interested in this Rage of the Red Lanterns.

Bad Dog as American decadence

I planned on getting three comics today.

I got one, and it was none of the three. It was Joe Kelly and Diego Greco's "Bad Dog" from Image Comics.

Why Bad Dog? Firstly, I like dogs.

Secondly, it's about a werewolf who has so much disdain for people that he stays a werewolf.

Thirdly, I'm tired of getting disappointed by some superhero comics.

Fourthly, the werewolf has a foul-mouthed jerk for a buddy.

Fifthly, they hunt people for bounties ("bounty hunter," which isn't as cool as it sounds -- you just find people who evade tax and then arrest them. Meh.)

ENSUE HILARITY (and possibly a review):

Bad Dog #1
by Joe Kelly and Diego Greco

This is 36 pages of story, with no ads, for $3.99. Make of that what you will.

A good number of the pages here are designed to create and build an atmosphere, and boy, what an atmosphere it is! This story doesn't take place in the mean streets of America's urban jungle. Likewise, it doesn't take place in some wild fantasy land, or a galaxy far, far away.

It takes place in Arizona, where people turn to the nearest bar to drown their sorrows away. And that'd be 20 miles away. It takes place where a mother sets fire on her children because she "didn't get her anti-depressant meds." Turn the corner, and you'll find a pack of wolves howling at the Moon. You can howl with them. Turn it again, and you'll see a Vietnam vet talking about how he lost his arm. Nobody cares.

Joe Kelly seamlessly builds up this moral decline in America through his characters's lives as bounty hunters. American decadence plays such an important backdrop for our characters, and this is something that I really liked.

As for the characters, Lou (the werewolf) carries this kind of stiff melancholy about him. You know there's something sad in him, but he doesn't want to let it come out. His life is so fantastic (as a werewolf), but it seems tragic at the same time.

That is some heavy stuff.

Then you have Lou's partner, who cusses every other word, yet he's the one who always uses Christian language. He's the one who calls everyone else "motherless heathens" and "sinners."

The end of this issue is tough. There's no easy way to approach it, and that is the kind of stuff I want. At the end of some comics, I just feel like it hasn't really done anything. The end of this first issue, gets you thinking. Whether the guy really got what was coming to him. Whether it was fair.

These kinds of things --American decadence, tragedy in fantasy, a seeming sinner paradox-- have most likely been done before, but I don't really care. This is fresh for me; it's telling me something new; it's challenging me, and I definitely want to read the next issue.

Here's me being an irrevocable geek:

These hands. . .

. . . These very dry, cracked, slightly bloody, dusty, bone-thin, scrawny hands. . .

. . . are the very same hands that have touched the first issue of The Amazing Spider-Man!

That's right, the over-forty-years-old, first issue where Spidey meets the Fantastic Four, and then the Chameleon! With all the "Try my dynaflex for $1.98 and girls'll throw themselves at you!" ads! With the "Special Message from Spider-Man" where Spidey tells you his address to write letters to! (SPIDER-MAN, THIRD FLOOR, 665 MADISON AVE., N.Y. 21, N.Y.) With the "Magic Art Reproducer" ad that lets you draw a beautiful woman "even if you can't draw a straight line!"

Would you believe, university has this very issue in its Deering McCormick Library "Special Collections"! You have to sign a slip in order to handle the comic, but I'm amazed they let you handle it at all! Here's how I found out.

I've read it before, in black and white, online at Marvel's site, from the reprints that the Chicago Sun-Times did on Sundays, but never before have I read it in its original form. Its intended form.

Its purest form.

In the first story, "Spiderman" is said without the hyphen, but that's corrected in the second story. In the second story, though, Peter's last name is "Palmer"! Peter Palmer, guys!

Most of the ads are aimed at scrawny 12-year-olds, even these little salesmen ads that promise to "turn you into a man!"

They wouldn't let me photocopy anything (duh) but this is the dream guys. This is truly the American Dream.