Four-Color Bonanza: LIVE from Space, England and Japan

ANNOUNCEMENT! I'm going to retire the "Panel by Panel" and "Cover to Cover" segments. To review the week, we're going to have these Four-Color Bonanzas instead.

Exciting isn't it? I can feel the electricity in my. . . computer.

No covers, no panels (unless I really think it's stand-out). This blog is going to be propped up by writing mainly, and I'd like to try it out. Today we review Guardians of the Galaxy #1, Green Arrow/Black Canary #8 and Bloodrayne: Tokyo Rogue #1.

So let's get ready to rrrrrrreeeeaaaaaddd!

Guardians of the Galaxy #1
by Abnett, Lanning and Pelletier

This was awesome. Great team banter, great dialogue from everyone, strong characterization.

I love Rocket Raccoon's sense of camaraderie, and you can't forget about his wit, and then Gamora is really getting looked at as a character. She's not just "the deadliest woman in the universe," and that gets somewhat explored here, as she talks to Richard Rider. I just hope the two of them hook up, as they should be, eventually.

Some other awesome things are how each character has a role within the team. It's Mantis' job to tend to everyones' mental well-being, as it's Cosmo's job to be their transport conductor, as it's Warlock's job to be the team leader. Drax the Destroyer even has his own different style of humor from Starlord or Rocket Raccoon. The individuality of these characters come out even when they're in the team, and that's the best kind of team book you can write.

A note about the art: I think Pelletier's curves are too soft for Guardians. Also, I don't think Drax should look that buff. Mitch Breitweiser had a much better design for Drax.

All in all though, a great jumping on point for anyone who thinks that Guardians is nothing but a niche book. You should really Check This Out. It looks like a great team book with strong individuals and equally strong dynamics between individuals. I only wonder if Richard Rider (the Nova Prime!) is going to appear here, because he and Gamora are totally meant for each other.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #8
by Judd Winick and Mike Norton

So, last issue, I was really whiny about the art. It was partly due to the fact that I loved Cliff Chiang so much that I wanted him to stay on GA/BC, and it was partly due to other facts.
That's not the case today. I feel like Norton's done a little polishing on the many things that irked me last time, particularly Dinah's face/eyes, and even the feet. There are still things that irk me, such as Ollie's beard, which is too exaggerated to look realistic, and his hair, which could look better, but I'm glad that Norton is improving himself. That's more than I can say for some other artists.

So if I'm not complaining about the art, what am I complaining about?

It's the Winick. Oh dear god help us all, it's the Winick.

The dialogue isn't too bad in this issue, actually, but that's because it was so scant here. The real problem I have is that the characters aren't getting proper attention. The title is more about Action! and Explosions! and Action-style Humor! then it is about Dinah and Ollie.

I swear, in eight issues, we've had so little character beats. So Ollie is trying to be a father figure. Okay, that was in, what, one issue? So Dinah is kick-ass. That was in one panel??? This is a big problem that I have with Winick's writing. Anyone could be doing these stories; it could be any generic superhero team. Anyone could be teaming up with this dodger guy, and anyone could be searching for Ra's Al Ghul. Hell, Chuck Dixon is writing Ollie better than Winick is, in Batman and the Outsiders. The characters aren't so much the focus as it is the action.

And action is not what I want. And no, neither is explosions or the jokes here. Anyone could be making these jokes. What I want is the jokes that can be told only with Dinah and Ollie. As long as you can tell me about Dinah's penchant for food, or for Ollie's need to be a father figure, or Dinah's technology peeves, or Ollie's sense of superhero camaraderie, I'll be happy. I only want to read about the characters I love, and I want to get the sense that Winick actually knows who these people are.

Is that too much to ask for three dollars?

Rant over. I'm disappointed with this issue, and I'm actually very bewildered why I didn't drop it last issue. If I were you, I'd definitely Run Away from this book.


Bloodrayne: Tokyo Rogue #1
by Troy Wall and Jake Bilbao

You know, for someone who has an innate fear of anything that mews, I read way too many horror comics. Bloodrayne is one of them, focusing on a half-human half-vampire (AKA dhampir) and her adventures working for the Brimstone Society.

In Tokyo Rogue she visits some friends in Japan to get some help against the ancient "gods" who just recently destroyed the Brimstone Society. The Brimstone annex in Japan has also been recently destroyed, thanks to a guy called "Hicharo" and his "samurai immortal," AKA Ayano.

I'm trying to figure out if Hicharo is the villain, but this Lord Noburu guy also seems villain-esque, because he hangs men atop a pit of lava and has a few agents called shrikes who "revel in their talents for creative torture."

Anyways, there's a fight between Rayne and Ayano at a strip club, and yes, THIS is how you do action right. Winick, please take a look at the page on the left.

Rayne fights. Yes, that is true, but that isn't so important as what is revealed in the fight. Namely, Rayne's character. Her wit and her sense of snark. Have you heard of that Winick? A little something called character? HM?

Anyways, Rayne loses, as is mandatory in the first issue, and she finds herself inside a Japanese hondo, and "the last hope for the survival of the Brimstone Society." CLIFFHANGER!

The dialogue is well-done, and although I think Bilbao's covers are hit-or-miss, I'm getting a liking for the way he pencils Rayne.

This dialogue is so great that I have to reproduce it for you guys: Rayne is riding a motorcycle with her British friend Severin who says:

Severin: I feel so . . . inadequate.
Rayne: Poor boy. I'll let you drive on the way out if it'll make you feel like more of a man.
Severin: As a matter of fact, it will. So what are we doing here?
. . .
Rayne: I'm going to burst in on the scene and kick some ass. You are going to stay here and do what you do best -- run recon.
Severin: I hate you.
Rayne: You love me. Now be a good boy and do your job.

Hah! This month's issue of Bloodrayne sure was enjoyable. If you like fun vampire action, you should really Check This Out.


The next batch of Four-Color Bonanza will be coming out this week. I got way too many comics today.

On a final note, I'd kind of like some help from you guys. What do you think of the rating system? I hate doing a star system, because a book can do a two-star writing-wise, but if it's full of fanservice, I can't just write that off. Sometimes I read a book that I really like personally and give it three stars, while a book that I pretty much didn't like but was generally okay gets three stars as well! A star system is way too ambiguous unless you're giving a one-star or five-star, and that's just too rare.

Mainly I do the rating system for you guys, so what do you think? What kind of ratings would you like to see from me? Stars or my overall opinion, or what I just did today ("check this out," "run away"), or some fourth thing?

Snow White's HOW TO SET A BARN ON FIRE

Step 1:
Call everyone an idiot and tell them what's what in your Fabletown.

You're the goddamn Snow White after all!

Step 2:
Get your trusty walkie-talkie and call in your pet dragon, Clarathea.

Every mayor should have a pet dragon.


Step 3:

LOOK AWESOME.

Snow White will end you. Scans taken from Fables vol. 2: Animal Farm, by Bill Willingham and Mark Buckingham.

Oh, and I'm back by the way, if you couldn't tell.

Begins with "H" and ends with "iatus"

I want you to brace yourself, kids, because what I'm going to tell you. . . will devastate you out of your spider-man undies.

Are you ready? Do you have your teddy bears firmly in hand? Have you hidden your heads tightly enough inside your shirts?*
Whoa now! Don't let Mr. Ursine slip out of your grip! Are you ready?

Your friendly neighborhood comics blogger has to go on hiatus. Since I'm a student, the scores that I get on standardized tests determine my future and, quite frankly, I'd like that future to be less bleak than it currently appears.

And what could possibly brighten it better than --

--THE BEST SEX DIALOGUE EVER:

This is Prince Charming from Fables, if you couldn't tell. He's great in the sack, as you can see, but he's a complete and total jerk. Doesn't stop me from being jealous though. Sigh.

So yeah, no blogging from me for two weeks roughly. I thought it'd be appropriate to warn what readership I have (KOFF KOFF!), so there ya go.

I really, really wanted to talk about the May comics for Marvel and DC, but this test thingamajig, it just won't let me. My soul is burning to chew the fat with the solicits for books like Final Crisis #1 or Birds of Prey #118 (with Tony Bedard's run beginning!!!) or Marvel Adventures Avengers #24 (featuring the return of fan-favorite Jeff Parker!)

If you'd like to say anything, about the blog, about the comics, about what you found in your shoe today, you can always leave a message to this post, because I'll still be checking my mail and roaming the blogosphere.

Some tests won't make me disappear off the face of the earth, after all! Furbies maybe, but tests we don't have to worry about.


*assuming you're wearing any.

follow-up to FCBD

So Free Comic Book Day was today!

I saw a little girl with her father, and she was all like "Daddy, daddy, look, free comics!" but the dad totally ignored the sign and just grabbed her hand and kept walking. That really sucked.

But then there was a small boy, who managed to make his way into the shop. He was having a tough time to decide, so I suggested All-Star Superman #1, because, well, it really is Superman done well.

That's really all the small children I saw. I wanted to take my six-year-old cousin, but his mom was being very anal, and he was with his friend at the time, who had half his head stuck in that gameboy of his.

So, going to the shop myself, I was limited to three free comics. Here they are:

1) Transformers: Animated-- Aside from the blurriness, it told everything right, from the Autobot-human interactions to the characters themselves. it's a perfect entry point for children into the franchise, although maybe not so much comic-wise. It kind of annoyed me that the panels (which were screen caps from the animated show) were so blurry, but for approximately zero cents, there is no way that I'm complaining.

2) Top Cow's Broken Trinity: Prelude-- It's a nice small story from the perspective of a journalist. The writer cleverly used her to tell us all about the Top Cow Universe that we need to know, but this didn't really get me excited about the "Broken Trinity" event that's coming up. I do like Phil Hester as an artist, but that's really all the enthusiasm I have for Top Cow. I just got this to see what I'm missing out on the indie side.

Speaking of indies, why didn't Vertigo release a Free Comic book? I would've been on that like cute on Tiny Titans.

3) And yes, Tiny Titans was my last free comic! It was really fun and awesome, and I love how the Titans universe translated into an ultra-cute universe. My favorite was the dialogue-less "Beast Boy meets a puppy" short story. That was just wonderful.

A book I'd ANTI-recommend would be the X-Men free comic. I really don't understand why Pornface McGee is still working for the industry, and for a children's event, no less.

Oh wait, yes I do. It's because most of fandom is totally fine with all his pornface, and, well, you can't blame them. As long as the women are pretty, most comics fans won't complain if they're anatomically hideous, blatantly traced, in the middle of orgasm every other panel, or emotively inappropriate.

But enough about porn. Let's talk comics. I also got DC Universe #0, because I didn't go to the shop this Wednesday, postponing it for today. This event preview, in my opinion, is actually better than Marvel's event preview, in that it attempts to tell a story, and isn't just an uninspiring history lesson. It's worse however, in that it costs money.

Cash money, and on Free Comic Book Day, that's an even worse stigma.

But not a bad enough stigma to bring down the day! This year's FCBD was on the whole fun and interesting, and I'm glad I went, although I regret not having told other people.

So maybe I'm missing out on a free comic that you liked? Don't be afraid to tell me all about it.

Maybe FCBD brought some new people to your regular shop, or maybe you yourself were new? How was the experience?

Because no force can bring people together stronger than free stuff.

Fly! Be Free!

Tomorrow is free comic book day, kids!

Head over to your friendly neighborhood comics shop for special *free* comics!

My store's limiting me to three per person, which is totally all right by me. A free comic's a free comic after all.

So don't forget guys, and have a great Free Comic Book Day!

A post is forthcoming on what's going on with the blog this month.