Step One: Stumble drunkenly from your local bar. The nighttime is prime cab-calling time for you, and it's preferable to have a bottle of beer in one hand. If you don't have a local bar, then any Petsmart will do, so long as you stumble drunkenly. Some random utterances might help you as well.
Step Two: PUNCH THE TAXI.
Did you take notes? If not, you can find out for yourself in Birds of Prey #112, by Tony Bedard and David Cole. It's one of my favorite single issues in the title.